I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
