When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize