My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
