He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
