it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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