I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
