Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
