Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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