Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
