do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
