Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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