I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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