I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
