Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
