Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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