I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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