Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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