we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I wish life had little blips of pornography
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize