Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
