Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize