I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You were trust falling into bushes
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
