Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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