So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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