I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
