i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
