it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
