I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
