In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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