fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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