I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
