Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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