do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize