If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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