i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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