You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize