I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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