im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
