i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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