Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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