ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I can text with my tongue
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
