Cold hands, warm shart.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
