Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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