my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
