I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
