I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
