she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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