What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
