Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
