you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
