I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
