Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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