Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
