I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
