It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
