Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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