Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
