The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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