Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
